Virtual Girlfriend vs. Real Girlfriend

You may think that getting a real girlfriend is always better than a virtual girlfriend, but give the virtual girl a chance.

Virtual girlfriends have many advantages and are not just for pathetic, lonely, people. In fact, there are many rich, well-adjusted, people who have virtual girlfriends or mistresses - they're just very discrete about them.

What do you think?

• Are virtual girlfriends better than real girlfriends?
• Why do some men prefer a virtual girlfriend over a real girlfriend?

Here, we discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both.

1. Virtual girlfriends are low maintenance.

In these difficult economic times, a virtual girlfriend is a godsend. Virtual girlfriends do not need expensive dresses or jewelry. They do not need to eat, sleep, or spend hours putting on make-up.

With a virtual girlfriend, there will be no whining to go to expensive five star restaurants and no wasteful spending on useless girly gifts. You can also be assured that your virtual girlfriend will always look sexy, and be available at your beck and call 24/7.

2. Virtual girlfriends are always attractive.

Virtual girlfriends are made to fit your dreams. Which do you prefer? Blonde, Brunette, or Red-head? One or all three will always be available.

All virtual girlfriends look too good to be true, which is probably why they are not. There are no cows in virtual girlfriend land. However, if you prefer cow-like looks, then I am sure one can be made to fit your order.

3. Virtual girlfriends are fun.

Virtual girlfriends are fun, and obedient. They have a set of pre-programmed actions which they will perform on command, similar to dogs, but without all the treats.

Unlike real girlfriends they will not invent annoying actions of their own such as nagging, throwing things at your head, slapping, or gouging you with their fake fingernails.

If there are new actions that you would like programmed, many low-cost outsourcing options are available from China or India.

4. Virtual girlfriends are easy and safe.

Like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, virtual girlfriends are a sure thing. Even without champagne and strawberries, you will still have an inflatable body to have virtual sex with throughout the night. If you detest cuddling afterwards, your virtual girlfriend can be quickly deflated for easy storage.

Unlike Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, virtual girlfriends are totally safe from a health perspective. No condoms are necessary and there won't be any surprise gifts when you go to your yearly doctor's appointment.

5. Virtual girlfriends will never cheat on you.

Virtual girlfriends will stay with you in sickness and in health, through fat times and bad times, through the swine hygiene phase and the Rogaine comb over phase, through yellow teeth and bad breath, for richer and for poorer, till death do you part.

And best of all - there are no costly weddings, and no messy divorce.

1. Virtual girlfriends are not real.

Virtual girlfriends are not human. You may frequently wish they were human, but if they were, they would quickly lose all the advantages of being a virtual girlfriend, and just become an ordinary girlfriend. And you already know that ordinary girlfriends are a major hassle. That is why you went the virtual route in the first place, remember?

Virtual girlfriends usually come in the digital or inflatable variety. In the future, they may also come as Terminator models but hopefully, by then, they will look more feminine and less like Schwarzenegger.

If you are skilled with your hands, you may make one from a wider variety of materials. I would stay away from wood, as wood slivers can become a big health hazard.

2. Virtual girlfriends may require some assembly.

After you purchase a virtual girlfriend, she may require some assembly. Digital or online virtual girlfriends usually require a computer and an internet connection. She will also require some basic computer knowledge, including the skills to download, unzip, and install her onto your hard drive.

Inflatable versions may require balloon blowing skills. Depending on size and materials, she may not fully inflate in a single blow session. To save on time and effort, it may be wise to invest in an air pump.

3. Virtual girlfriends cannot cook or do house chores.

Unfortunately, we do not yet have the technology for virtual girlfriends that can cook and clean. For those tasks, you may need to get a Roomba, frozen meals, and a microwave.

Of course, if you happen to be the lucky few that get turned on by Roombas or microwaves, then you can have your cake and eat it too.

4. Virtual girlfriends cannot bear you any children.

For some men, this may be a feature. However, if you are one of those few who truly believe that you must contribute your God-like genetic material to the human race, then a virtual girlfriend will not be able to fulfill that noble goal.

There are, however, many sperm banks available, and you may even get paid for your super swimmers. Best of all, you do not have to deal with child support.

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